Denuo 09: Memento Mori
by Macx LaraBee
Summary: Denuo AU, Today, E/C. A trip to a ghost town unearths some memroies Ezra would have liked to keep buried forever


**Memento Mori**   
sequel to Endymion

  


*******Lump In Throat Warning! *******   
Hanky might be in need for some. The Lump In Throat was what occurred to Macx while writing that piece, so reading it might just grace you with the same problem :)   
No, this is not a deathfic. Macx doesn't do deathfics! It's just very, very emotional in the second half.   


Buck's new nickname for Vin is thanks to a certain blue feline… *winks* You know who you are.   
  


"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!"   
Vin was fairly bouncing with unreleased energy and Chris grinned as he watched the younger man wheedle and whine.   
"I mean, if you don't like it, you can always ride back and all. But the landscape's great and I bet it's real educational as well!"   
Buck snorted with laughter and shook his head. "It's the geologist speaking," he told the others in ways of an apology. "You have to excuse the little furball."   
"Buck!" Vin hissed.   
"What? It's the truth! Everyone knows it."   
"Don't call me furball!"   
Buck winked at him. "Everyone knows that, too."   
Nathan chuckled. "Haven't been on a trail ride in ages. I'm in."   
"And it would be better than an amusement park," Josiah agreed.   
"Ey!" JD protested. "You asked for ideas, that was mine."   
"My idea for the annual team vacation weekend isn't hanging out in a gaming arcade and beating twelve year-olds in cyber games," the psychologist rumbled.   
"There's always something for the older generation as well. Like chess…." Dunne teased.   
"Older generation?"   
Nathan laughed. "Vin, you have my vote."   
"I can't ride," JD whined.   
"It's not a hard trail and the horses are used to green riders."   
The hacker grimaced. "Thanks."   
"It's like riding a bike," Buck quipped. At JD's expression he stopped. "You can't ride a bike either? Damn, kid, I think we need to pull you away from your machines more often! Sheesh! Boy doesn't know how to ride a bike."   
"Buck!" JD groaned.   
Wilmington grinned.   
"Chris?" Vin inquired, ignoring his lover.   
His boss nodded. "Sounds better than Vegas, a gaming arcade or the beach."   
"It's a nice beach," Buck could be heard.   
"What about Ezra?" JD suddenly asked.   
Larabee shot him a quizzical look. "What about him?"   
"I mean, he is kinda part of this team…. In a way… somehow. Maybe he wants to come as well."   
"And ride through the blazing sun?" Buck asked sarcastically.   
"Oh. Right. That." JD sank deeper into the chair. "Sorry."   
Chris smiled. He was amazed that the kid had even thought about Ezra coming along. It showed him how much the vampire had already been drawn into the team – without working for the CSI or any other kind of agency.   
"No harm in asking, JD."   
"I just forgot about him being a vampire, Chris."   
Larabee's smile grew.   
"Next weekend then?" Vin wanted to know.   
Everyone nodded.   
"I'll make arrangements for the horses and stuff," the geologist told them, beaming. "It'll be fun!"   
"Yep, for you, fuzzy," Buck teased.   
"Wilmington!"   
Chris laughed, shaking his head. 

* * * 

Luther watched his boss and friend walk through the Grotto, giving the dance floor a critical once-over. He knew that they would have to renew it sometime throughout the year and one of the carpenter firms had already sent them an offer, one that was very reasonable in Luther's eyes, but currently Ezra was far from interested in maintenance. He usually left that to the manager, who was Luther.   
Ever since yesterday night, though, Ezra seemed to have something on his mind. Luther was a very perceptive man when it came to Ezra Standish. He had known the man for forty years now, and lately the vampire's life had been changed profoundly. He had found a lover in the form of Chris Larabee, someone who challenged him, who attracted him like a moth was attracted to a flame. Luther smiled. Not a bad comparison either. Chris was the flame that burned Ezra every time he touched him. He burned him with his love, which was so plainly obvious to someone like him.   
Aside from the pheromones, that was.   
But that evidence had started to balance, too. The almost frantic need had given in to gentle desire. Luther had to grin as he thought back to the small smiles, the touches, or the plain open kisses. Chris was good for Ezra. Very, very good. Standish was alive again. Well, as alive as a vampire could be.   
"What's so amusing?"   
The soft, Southern drawl drew the dark-skinned vampire out of his thoughts. Ezra stood in front of him, eyebrows raised.   
"You," Luther answered, straight-forward and direct as he always was when it came to his boss.   
"Me? Oh. I see. What exactly about me?"   
"Well, for one… you normally don't check light bulbs, kitchen sinks and grocery lists, Ezra."   
Standish sighed. "So I need a new hobby," he said sarcastically.   
"No, you need to straighten out whatever it is that's bothering you. And my bets are on Chris." Luther grinned as Ezra frowned. "Since you aren't drowning yourself in Scotch or sulking in the office, I doubt the two of you had a fight or broke up."   
"I do not sulk!" the smaller vampire grumbled.   
"Uh-huh. Whatever you say, boss. So, what's wrong?"   
Ezra sighed and leaned against the bar. "Nothing."   
"Something."   
"Nothing!" he insisted.   
Luther nodded and perched himself on the nearest bar stool. "Okay, nothing. Big nothing."   
"All right!" Ezra snapped, eyes flaring briefly. "Chris and the team planned a weekend vacation. A trail ride to some ghost town or something." He shrugged. "He asked if I would be able to come along…."   
Luther took in the tension in the compact body and nodded to himself. Every vampire accepted that the sun would eventually kill him if he stayed out too long. Hell, not too long ago Ezra would nearly have died from exposure. But small spells of sun were okay, as was the late afternoon and early morning to take a stroll, walk from point A to point B. As long as there were clouds covering the sky, longer exposure was fine, too. The vampire would need feeding the moment he was somewhere inside, but that was acceptable.   
"You should go."   
Ezra's head whipped around. "What?"   
"I said, you should go. You might not be able to go everywhere with him, but if he wanted to have you along… if he asked… why not do it?"   
"Are you planning on a take-over?" Standish growled.   
Luther laughed softly. "No. I'm just voicing my opinion. Heck, Ezra, you love the man and you want to be with him. You want to be with him when he does something that tests your limits. I bet Chris would make arrangements if you said you'd come. He asked, right?"   
"I'm a realist, Luther. I know my limits and riding a horse in the middle of the day is beyond my limit."   
"Give it a thought, Ezra. Call him, see what he has to offer as an alternative. You've been invited to a team vacation. Means they wanted you along."   
Ezra sighed. "Yes, but…"   
The larger vampire raised a hand. "Nope, no buts. Go or don't go. If you stay here, quit pining."   
"I am not pining!" Standish snapped angrily and pushed away from the bar, stalking over to his office.   
"Yeah, right," Luther muttered to himself. 

* 

Ezra stared at the computer screen, angry at himself and the world in general. So Chris had asked him and he had had to decline despite his immediate positive response… at least in his mind he had responded. Then he had told himself that he was a vampire, that he couldn't come along, that it would burden the others if they had to make their plans around his 'condition'.   
But it had been their idea.   
The vampire sighed. "Shit!" he muttered, hand straying to the phone again.   
He stopped. Again.   
Ezra wanted nothing more than to call his lover, ask what the name of the hotel was, and then go there.   
So what's stopping you?   
Nothing – except… yes, except what?   
With a growl he finally picked up the receiver and dialed Chris's cell phone number. 

* * * 

Chris stood in the silent and dusky car park, the sun just setting behind the mountains. He checked his watch and frowned. Suddenly a car pulled up onto the motel parking lot. It was a dark blue BMW, the back windows tinted black, driven by someone he had never seen before. The car stopped next to him and the back doors opened.   
"A welcome committee," Ezra Standish remarked as he climbed out, looking at his lover. "I could get used to that."   
Chris felt his frown give way to a smile. Ezra walked over to him and, uncaring of who might see them, pulled Chris into a kiss. The top of his tongue licked over the lips and Chris opened up, inviting him in.   
"Hello," he murmured against the lips as they parted.   
"And hello to you, too." Chris shot the driver a quick look.   
Ezra chuckled. "That's Martin. Friend of mine. My driver when it comes to the sunny sides of my job," he added with humor dancing in his eyes.   
He detached himself from Chris and walked to the trunk, expertly lifting out a medium-sized backpack. Chris felt his eyebrows rise.   
"What?" the vampire asked.   
Larabee shrugged. "Dunno why, but I expected at least two suitcases."   
Ezra snorted and slammed the trunk shut, nodding at Martin. The man grinned and then pulled out of the parking lot again.   
"I have you know that I can very well survive on a pair of jeans, a pair of boots and some shirts, Mr. Larabee."   
Chris laughed. "I don't know why, but I have trouble figuring you as an outdoors type."   
"Well, let me think. It might be because I'm not he fun in the sun type?" Ezra remarked lightly.   
Chris elbowed him gently. "You know what I mean, Mr. Business Man." Ezra grinned.   
Something moved under Ezra's jacket, and a little black head popped up beneath the collar.   
"Mwrrrrrrt?"   
Chris's eyebrows rose in surprise as he recognized the vampire's cat Shawn, short for Shawnodese -- which was everything but a normal cat.   
"Hello, little one."   
He scratched the cat behind the ear, and she butted her head against his hand, purring even louder. Chris shot Ezra a quizzical look.   
"You brought the cat along?"   
Standish just shrugged. "Yes. Why?"   
"You could have left her with Luther."   
Chris received a brief look from green eyes, sparkling with amusement. "I tried."   
"Oh?"   
"She can be very … persistent in her argumentation.   
"She can."   
"Oh yes."   
"I see."   
"Mwrr-RRRT!"   
"Oops, forgot the scratching part here…" Chris laughed.   
"See?"   
Larabee smiled. "Yep, I see."   
As they entered the motel entrance hall, Ezra was surprised to notice that the rest of the team had assembled there. He was greeted with smiles, back pats and hellos. Chris's hand touched the small of his back as they marched to the elevator, promising to come right back down for dinner while the others reserved a table large enough for the group of seven. As the elevator doors closed, Ezra shook his head.   
"What?" Chris wanted to know.   
"I'm still amazed at the ease your team accepts this… me… everything."   
Larabee chuckled. "Well, they have no other choice," he joked.   
Ezra smiled crookedly. "So, what are the plans for today?"   
The elevator stopped on the third floor and they got out, Chris leading the way.   
"Dinner, relaxing…" Chris looked thoughtful. "I hear they have a bowling alley in the basement."   
He unlocked the door and made a sweeping gesture. Ezra passed, bowing, a dimpled grin on his features.   
"And then there is the private entertainment as well," the blond continued as Ezra put the backpack next to a chair.   
"Oh?"   
"Hm, I heard it's supposed to be good."   
"Really?" Ezra grabbed Chris by the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close.   
"Yep. Thought we might see if it lives up to rumors," his lover murmured as he nuzzled him.   
"Sounds like a plan," Ezra concurred, nipping at the questing lips. "I'm free for tonight."   
"What a coincidence. Me, too."   
They lost themselves in a long, passionate kiss.   
"Let's not keep the others waiting," Standish finally whispered, still holding Chris to him by the waistband.   
"Yep. Buck might just send up the search party."   
They separated, Ezra's eyes glinting with the promise of later.   
"Mwr-row?"   
"Don't complain. YOU wanted to come along, so YOU will stay with Vin and Buck tonight… or JD maybe...?" Ezra's eyes twinkled.   
"Mwrrrrr."   
"JD it is then." 

* * * 

Chris woke to the gentle nibbling of lips and teeth against the soft skin of his neck. He arched his head, giving the insistent mouth more room, and was rewarded with a gentle nip where his neck met his shoulder.   
"Mmh," he moaned. "Morning."   
"More like noon," was the soft reply and an arm snaked around his waist.   
"Oh."   
Chris turned his head to catch the maddening lips. Ezra complied to the wish, kissing him.   
The night had been long, filled with slow, passionate love-making and holding each other, just savoring the presence of the other man. Neither had been in a hurry, aware that they had all the time in the world. A 'do not disturb' sign insured that the maids wouldn't enter, and the others had left in the morning for their ride. Shawn had somehow disappeared into thin air, and Ezra had told Chris that the little familiar was quite capable of looking after herself and would return in time – without disturbing them. Chris and Ezra would wile away the day here, in bed, the motel, wherever, and leave later. While Chris was always reluctant to go anywhere with the sun still out, Ezra had reassured him times and again that he could tolerate the evening sunlight. The sky was cloudy anyway, the forecast hadn't announced any changes, and he also had several 'shakes' with him. He was very well able to sit on the front seat while Chris drove to the trail starting point's parking place.   
Ezra slid onto the naked form of his lover, looking down into the warm hazel eyes, smiling wolfishly as he felt Chris's arousal pressing against him. Chris returned the smile, every bit the predator as well, and he groaned in anticipation as the vampire eyes lit up.   
"Oh boy!" he gasped as he felt Ezra's nibs against the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrist and lower arm.   
His mind replayed the scene of Ezra feeding on Vin and Buck, mouth latched onto the wrist, and he felt a surge of lust and desire. Whether it was the vampire, the sensation on his skin, or something else, he didn't care. And apparently Ezra didn't care either, fully aware of the effect his innocent little kissing, licking and nibbling had on his lover.   
"You're driving me crazy!" Chris moaned as the vampire trailed a fiery path from his left side to a nipple.   
"Good," was the slightly muffled reply.   
Chris inhaled sharply as Ezra found another pleasure spot. Standish nuzzled one ear.   
"I want you," he drawled, voice dripping like honey.   
Two pairs of eyes met and Chris rolled the smaller man around onto his back. "I want you," he echoed his lover's words.   
It was just noon and they still had time to spend. It would be quality time, turning Ezra Standish into a gasping, needy, trembling wreck, making him scream his name as he came, feeling him around him. Chris's smile turned malicious at the thought of seeing his lover like that. After last night, revenge was his. 

* * * 

Buck squinted into the midday sun, wondering where his partner and lover had gone off to. He couldn't see hair nor hide of anything looking remotely like either Vin or the wolf he could become. The geologist had been fairly bouncing with the idea to try out his new ability, to change into a werewolf even outside the full moon phase where he was forced to become the wolf at night.   
"It's a learning experience," he had argued when Buck had saddled his horse. "Paul said to train and train I do."   
"So you want to run around in your furry, fuzzy form and do what?"   
"Track."   
Buck had only shrugged. As long as Vin didn't end up in someone's rifle scope, fine. This being a Provincial Park, the chances of hunters were slim to non-existent. And wolves didn't belong to the normal fauna around here.   
So Vin was out there somewhere, tracking whatever, following them. They had agreed to meet up at the small canyon that was about three hours away from the ghost town.   
"Anything?" Josiah asked as he guided his horse next to Buck's.   
"Nope."   
"Don't worry. He'll be fine."   
As if to show Buck that the psychologist was right, the men saw a large animal shape appear on the hill before them. Buck grinned widely as he discovered that it was a wolf. A wolf he knew and who was too big to belong into this area. The horses pranced slightly and the wolf disappeared again. The moment they had cleared the hill, Buck had to chuckle.   
"Hey, furball! You'll catch a sunburn that way!"   
Vin Tanner, in his birthday suit, sat on a sunwarmed boulder, his legs tangled up in a way that would show nothing that he didn't want to be seen.   
"Shut up and throw me my clothes, Wilmington!" Vin called, grinning as well.   
Buck dismounted and grabbed the clothes from the horse he had ponied. The others took the opportunity to dismount and stretch their legs, giving Vin his privacy as he slipped into the garments.   
"So? Had fun?" Buck asked.   
"Hm, a lot. It's tricky sometimes, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. Have to try it on the way back again."   
"Whatever floats your boat."   
Vin mounted his rented horse and adjusted himself to being on horseback, compared to running around on all fours himself.   
They continued on their way a few minutes later. 

* * * 

Larabee took care of renting two horses from the local stable. Vin had already left notice with the owner that two more horses were needed, a trailer, and saddles. Chris had brought along his tent and sleeping bag. The plan was to ride along the trail the tourist office had outlined for them, spend the night in the ghost town Vin was so eager to visit, then ride back the next day. Due to Ezra's 'condition', he couldn't ride the whole trail and after some planning and fussing, Vin had discovered a shorter trail from a parking spot deeper inside the provincial park. While the other five would take the long way, Chris and Ezra would take the short one, which would take them to the ghost town within two hours.   
They left at four, which was still rather early, but Ezra insisted.   
"I'll be fine, Chris. I survived over a century as a vampire. I know when to go outside and when to stay in. Trust me, I can handle this."   
Chris had only nodded.   
Now, as they saddled the horses, Larabee watched his lover as he expertly checked the saddle and blanket, tugging and readjusting everything to his liking, patting the dark brown horse on the neck when he was done. Ezra quirked an eyebrows as he discovered Chris's eyes on him.   
"You never forget," he commented and swung easily up into the saddle.   
"Apparently."   
Chris followed his example. Shawn had appeared during the day again and, after being fed properly, had insisted on coming along as well. Ezra had just shook his head in amusement and opened one of the saddlebags for the little feline. Chris had watched the scene, grinning slightly as Shawn had inspected the saddle bag intently, sniffing and pawing here and there before considering it a sufficient way to travel. Now she was curled up inside it, head popping out, not missing the tiniest little thing.   
They had the car locked and secured, and their gear was equally distributed on both horses. Chris relaxed as they guided the two animals onto the trail, enjoying the quiet serenity of the landscape, the presence of his lover, and the general feel of it all.   


Ezra watched Chris as the blond man expertly rode his horse down the narrow incline, smiling as he felt the familiarity of it all. He hadn't been on a horse in ages, but as he had told Chris, it wasn't something you really forgot. He easily slid into the rhythm of the four-legged animal under him. Part of him, an old part, awoke, cherishing the smell of leather, the horse, the landscape. The evening sun on his face felt fine. He didn't sense any increasing difficulties or weakness. Well, it wasn't a reason to do this more often. He would feel the effects of the sunlight by tomorrow.   
The vampire smiled and turned in his saddle to look at the bag that contained his cat. Shawn was poking her head out of the leather flaps, looking at the landscape with wide, green eyes.   
"Enjoying yourself?"   
"Meowwrr!"   
"Thought as much."   
Ezra urged his horse alongside Chris when they had made it down the incline. Larabee shot him a brief look, which Ezra answered just as silently. Chris smiled and nodded. 

* * * 

The ride as such took nearly two hours and Chris enjoyed every minute of it. His eyes roamed over the rocky, sometimes barren landscape. Then they would turn around a hill and everything would be covered in green life. He checked the map again and nodded to himself. The camp site was just coming up. As he turned to look at Ezra, he noticed the frown on his lover's face.   
"Ezra? Everything okay?"   
"Hm?" The vampire looked up, then smiled briefly. "Yes."   
"Sun?"   
A sigh. "You," Ezra muttered, "are a mother hen from hell. Yes, I'm fine with the sun."   
Chris grinned and turned forward again, already seeing the first signs of the ghost town as they descended the hill. It wasn't much, actually. Time and mother nature had taken care of that. Still, it was larger than expected, with not only one main road, but also a few side alleys. Even from here he could see the horses hitched to a post outside one building. Two of them. Of the other three there was no sign.   
As they entered the ghost town, Chris let his eyes roam over the partially very battered looking, wooden buildings. The sun was throwing everything into dark orange and reddish brown colors. He discovered the saloon, which was where the two horses were hitched in front of. The undertaker, the livery, a general store. Just like every movie western town he had seen before. Some windows were nailed shut, others still had panes in them, though grimy and most of them cracked. At least there was no recent damage from vandals. As far as he had understood Vin, the park rangers took care of the ghost town, which was a tourist magnet in season. At least to those who hiked or rode here. This being off season, they were alone.   
Ezra suddenly stopped his horse dead center in the street and Chris frowned. He turned in his saddle once more. The vampire's eyes were wide open and his face had lost the little color he usually had. He appeared shocked….   
"Ezra?"   
"Mr-wow?"   
No response.   
"Ezra? You okay?"   
"Whose idea was it to come here?" Ezra asked, voice toneless.   
"Vin and JD pestered the tourist office and came back with a stack of recommended trails and day trips. Since Vin's such a history buff and likes trail rides, we decided to come here. Why?"   
"You have no idea where we are…."   
"Uh, no…?" Chris was confused.   
Vin suddenly came up to them, jumping off the wooden boardwalk, a little out of breath. He took in the two new arrivals, appearing just as shocked as Ezra.   
"Ezra, I'm sorry… we didn't know… I didn't know... they didn't really tell us the name of this town…"   
Ezra's face gave nothing away. He stared at Vin, then suddenly turned his horse around and rode away.   
"Ezra?" Chris called after him, then turned to look at Vin. "What's going on here?" he demanded.   
"Chris, I just came from the cemetery. I saw the graves."   
"What graves?" A sick feeling started in the pit of Chris's stomach.   
"Yours. This is Four Corners, Chris."   
"Ah hell!" 

* 

Vin led Chris to the cemetery, looking very pale around the edges, his face drawn.   
"I didn't know," he murmured, almost to himself. "It had no name on the map… I just didn't know. I'd never have thought about coming here if I had…"   
Chris placed a hand on one tense shoulder and squeezed it. "I know, Vin, I know."   
"Ezra doesn't need this," Tanner went on, looking still very shell-shocked. "Neither do you."   
Larabee gave him a wry smile. "We're here now. Let's make the best of it."   
The cemetery was small, just outside the town, surrounded by a rickety fence made of twisting tree limbs. There were tombstones, wooden markers and crosses, as well as many nameless graves. An old tree stood almost in the middle of it, long dead. Like everyone around here.   
Buck approached them. He had watched the two men come closer. "Chris, I… I just saw… oh damn!" He broke off, shaking his head.   
Chris just nodded and looped the reins of the horse around a dead tree limb. He pushed past his friend and walked stone-faced toward the cemetery.   
"Chris, I don't think it's such a good idea…" Buck tried, hurrying alongside him.   
Larabee didn't reply. He let his eyes wander about the small assortment of markers. He stopped as he came to the two that had everyone so shocked. Something inside of him writhed and twisted painfully. Something else wanted to cry. And a third piece was strangely mute and neutral.   
A hundred years had done something to the stones but the names engraved were still clearly readable.   
'Ezra P. Standish. Friend. You will be missed'.   
And on the other … 'Chris Larabee. May your soul find peace' .   
Chris swallowed hard. It was one thing to know, but to see with his own eyes… Ezra's grave, the grave of the man he loved with all he was worth. Ezra had been buried here, in this ground, had found himself six feet under, and dug himself out… Chris felt his stomach turn into a tight knot. And right beside it the grave of the man Ezra had loved … his ancestor.   
God, and he had led him here!   
He bit his lower lip as the twisting thing became more painful. Buck and Vin stood at his side, silent.   
"Pard?" Wilmington inquired after a while.   
Chris slowly looked up, hazel eyes meeting sorrowful dark ones. "I'm okay," he murmured.   
"Huh, speak for yourself."   
Chris shot him a humorless, wry look. Buck rubbed his neck.   
"I'm here, too." He gestured vaguely toward a tombstone not far away. "None of the others, though."   
Chris nodded slowly. He turned away and gazed down the dusty road. Night was approaching and the light was fading fast. There was no sign of Ezra.   
"I'm so sorry, Chris. If I had known, I'd never… " Vin murmured.   
"I know. I know. Later. Where are Nathan, JD and Josiah?"   
"Rode out. After we discovered what this is, JD remembered what Ezra told us. About his great-great-grandfather having a ranch somewhere. He consulted the map and the others tagged along. They said they'd be back before nightfall."   
Another nod. "Let's set up camp."   
"What about Ez?" Vin asked quietly.   
Chris sighed. "I'm not sure…." 

* * * 

Between the two of them, Buck and Nathan had started a small camp fire. Josiah had cooked what tasted like chili and the others didn't ask what was really in it, aside from the cans of beans and sauce they had seen him take out of the saddle bags. He had called it a 'trade secret'.   
The camp had been made outside the town, as requested by the park rangers. The spot was close to a small creek and the gurgle of water was interspersed with the crackle of the fire. JD yawned and stretched his legs, leaning back against the boulder he had chosen earlier.   
Chris sat with the others, eating the chili, munching on some bread, his eyes scanning the inky darkness beyond the fire.   
Green eyes reflected the light from the campfire.   
"Mrrre-ow?"   
Shawn appeared out of nowhere, looking slightly ruffled, and climbed onto Chris's lap to get scratched and stroked.   
"Hello again, little one. Brought your owner along?"   
"Mrrt."   
"I take that as a 'no'?"   
"Mwwrr."   
Chris caressed the black, slightly dusty fur, watching the feline's behavior and body language closely. Former experience had shown him that she was connected with Ezra somehow and able to feel when he was in danger; and that she would give signs of discomfort in that case. The fact that she was laying curled up on his lap, purring, eyes half closed, helped to reduce his worries and anxiety for his lover. There was still a little twinge inside him, though. Ezra hadn't returned and none of the others had seen him so far. JD, Josiah and Nathan had returned from their little excursion only half an hour after Chris had been confronted with the names in the cemetery. Neither one had seen the vampire.   
After some time, the moon came out, a silvery-yellow sickle, sometimes covered by clouds once more.   
"It was a stupid idea," Vin muttered again.   
Buck wrapped arm around his lover's shoulders and squeezed them once. "You couldn't have known."   
"Still… riding to a ghost town! It was stupid to begin with. It's Ezra's past, Buck."   
"He knew what we had planned," Nathan told him calmly. "He even called to let us know he'd come along after all. He knew about the ghost town."   
"Yeah, but…"   
"Nathan is right, Vin," a soft drawl startled them.   
"Sheesh, Ezra!" Buck exclaimed, one hand on his chest. "Wear a bell around your neck!"   
The vampire smiled faintly. "Where would be the fun in that?" He moved silently over to where Chris had looked up from his study of the fire, his hazel eyes questioning.   
Are you okay?   
The answer was simple and it pained the blond. Ezra sat down, but the lovers didn't touch. The little cat on Chris's lap shot him what could only be described as a dark look. Obviously Shawn wasn't happy about her owner's actions.   
"Vin, you didn't know," the vampire addressed the geologist. "And Nathan is right when he says I could have declined after I heard about the ghost town." He smiled again.   
"Sorry," Tanner murmured.   
"It'll be okay." Ezra dredged up a better smile. "At least this way you can hear something about this place from a reliable source."   
The others chuckled. Conversation drifted back and forth, Ezra telling them a few things, but everyone could see that it still put him ill at ease. They turned in after a while. Chris put out the fire and placed Shawn on the ground. The cat would find herself a place where she wanted to spend the night, not necessarily with sleeping. He rose and looked at his lover. The offer was clear in his eyes. Ezra didn't need to sleep, but physical exhaustion and emotional tiredness were two different things. Ezra rose as well, for the first time tonight stepping into the embrace of his partner. They kissed and wordlessly walked over to Chris's tent.   
Ezra didn't sleep. He lay with Chris, listening to the regular breaths of the man at his side, studying the relaxed face in the darkness. They had done nothing more than to kiss, hold each other, and Ezra had felt Chris's hands caress him, comfort him. It was how his lover had fallen asleep. He smiled briefly, running tender fingers across the smoothed-out features.   
After a while he carefully got up and silently left the tent. 

* * * 

Josiah was one of the first to rise. He was surprised to see that the fire had been restarted and a pot of coffee was already waiting to them. There was a short note from Ezra and he had to smile. The vampire had left the camp to seek shelter from the sun in town. Taking a mug with the steaming hot liquid, Sanchez walked the short distance into Four Corners, eyes wandering around the ancient buildings. The sun was still a weak light and the morning shadows were long and cold.   
The psychologist stopped in front of what had once been a hotel and looked up at the broken sign. He couldn't read the name any longer.   
"Mr. Sanchez."   
Josiah turned and smiled. "Buck's comment about the bell holds a grain of truth, my friend," he remarked, sipping at the coffee that had cooled down marginally.   
Ezra chuckled. He stood in the shade of the hotel's roof, a softly purring Shawn cradled in his arms. "That would be counter-productive."   
Josiah smiled. "How are you?"   
"I don't need counseling, Dr. Sanchez."   
"I was only inquiring."   
Ezra gazed down at the boardwalk. "I appreciate the effort."   
"Not an effort."   
The vampire was silent for a while, raising his eyes to look out over the empty streets. "It didn't change much between my last visit and abandonment."   
Josiah followed the distant gaze, but he didn't say anything.   
"See that church over there?" Ezra asked.   
He nodded. "Yep. Vin and I had a look at it when we first came here."   
"Your ancestor made it his life's work to restore it."   
Josiah looked at the church again. "Why?"   
Ezra chuckled. "Well, for one, he called it 'penance'. Don't ask me. He always had something to do. It looked good the last time I saw it. And then there was the little fact that he was a preacher."   
"A preacher?" Sanchez chuckled.   
The vampire smiled. "Defrocked. He once told me that he had difficulties turning the other cheek."   
"Ah. My grandfather once mentioned we had a religious man in our family. I couldn't picture any of our ancestors preaching the holy word."   
"He had a way about it…" Standish smiled wistfully. "Especially after too much alcohol. Got into his share of trouble."   
Josiah emptied his coffee. "So your offer about a tour of this town still stands?"   
Ezra gazed thoughtfully at him, then nodded. "Yes."   
"You don't have to dig into your memories, Ezra."   
"No, I don't. They come up all by themselves."   
"Mwrrrrr?"   
Josiah smiled faintly at the protective sound the little cat gave. Ezra just patted her.   
"Don't worry."   


The team spent the morning getting a tour by Ezra through Four Corners. They listened to stories, tales of battles and difficult times, and it was obvious that wherever they went, Ezra circumvented the cemetery. None of the team wanted to go there anyway. Chris was mostly silent, smiling to himself when Ezra told Buck about his ancestor's affiliation to the fairer sex.   
"Ladies man, hm?" Vin chuckled.   
"I think the only woman he never managed to woo with his charm was Inez Recillios, the manager of the saloon," Ezra said, grinning. "But he tried. Oh, he tried. And he had very ingenious ways of doing so, right down to a love potion."   
The others burst out laughing as he added the little part about JD acting as if he had drunken the potion, pursuing Buck.   
After lunch, the others decided to leave. Horses were saddled, gear was stowed away. Chris and Ezra had the shorter way back and would wait till late afternoon. It meant even more time in the place of the vampire's past and Josiah watched the other man with a feeling of trepidation.   
"Stay with him, Chris," he told his boss as the others mounted. "It's not over yet."   
"I know. Thanks, Josiah."   
He smiled. "Take care."   
The five men left Four Corners and soon had disappeared from view. 

* * * 

The saloon.   
The former 'Standish Tavern'.   
The place he had fled to many times, had hidden in when he had been alive…   
Ezra slowly took the steps up the porch, one at a time. It was as if he had returned, the place changing in front of his eyes with every step he took, as if the veils of time were lifted. The vampire could almost feel a slap on the back, a jovial voice asking, _"Hey Ez, where ya been? Won enough to buy me a beer?"_   
A movement on his left, the faint sound of a harmonica, a pair of twinkling blue eyes under a worn old cavalry hat, the man nodding a greeting.   
_"Ezra."_   
"Mr. Tanner."   
Ezra swung open the old bat wing doors, ignoring the creaking of the rusted hinges. He let his eyes roam over the room and heard a soft female voice.   
_"The same as usual, Senor Standish?"_   
And nodded slowly. "The same, Inez."   
The saloon had lost most of its former glory. The floor boards were covered in decades of dust, broken in places. The mirror behind the bar had long since shattered into many pieces and swept away.   
_"Nice shot, pard."_   
_"Dreadful. I was aiming to kill him, but the mirror was cracked."_   
The counter as such was still intact, as were the shelves for glasses and bottles behind it, now empty. The batwing doors must have been replaced once. They weren't the ones he remembered. What was left of the chairs and tables had been pushed over to one side, piled haphazardly on top of each other.   
Ezra smiled faintly as he looked toward the stairs that led to the second floor. They didn't look very safe and there was a warning sign not to attempt to go up there. He turned a little and sat down at an old table, leaning back into the chair, regardless of what the dirt did to his jeans. Green eyes wandered over the dim interior, seeing everything despite the twilight that had always dominated the saloon. Fringe benefits of being a vampire. The sun outside did little to light up the place he had once called home. It did even less to lighten his mood.   
Ezra pulled out a deck of cards that he, out of old habit or as a memento or for whatever reasons Ezra had no idea, still had with him all the time. The vampire started to shuffle the cards, absentmindedly noticing that he were as skilled with them as he had ever been.   
Scenes unfolded before him, a man sitting in front of him, dark eyes scrutinizing his every move.   
_"How do we know you don't cheat?"_   
"You don't."   
A smile crossed the pale lips and liquid green eyes blinked into the light from the outside.   
"You don't," he repeated.   
You were right, Nathan. You never knew if I cheated or not. I even cheated death.   
Laughter arose, two men entering the saloon.   
_"It's high time you get yourself a decent hat, kid."_   
_"This is a decent hat, Buck. It's like the one Bat Masterson wore."_   
Ezra chuckled. The last time he had seen the 'kid' Sheriff JD Dunne had gotten himself what Buck would have called 'a decent hat'. He had worn the one Buck had given him, again, on the day Wilmington had died.   
Four Corners.   
After such a long time, nearly a century, he had come back. If he had known, he wouldn't have accompanied the others. As it was, he had had a bad feeling about visiting a ghost town anyway, but Ezra had told himself that this was his past and he might even enjoy it. That he would end up in his former home hadn't even crossed his mind. So much had changed, the landscape and all, that he hadn't even checked on the position of the camp site.   
_"This could get ugly. And I do hate ugly."_   
_"Brace yourself, Buck, because here comes ugly."_   
He chuckled.   
Oh yes, you hated ugly. You loved beautiful. Female and beautiful. You loved life.   
Ezra swallowed and the cards faltered briefly.   
Life.   
He and Buck had had a good friendship. He had liked the man, had shared the same wicked sense of humor. They had talked and despite his reservations, Ezra had discovered that there were many layers to the man.   
_"Hey, Ez, what's she writing this time?"_   
Buck placed a beer in front of him, and Ezra read the letter his mother had sent him, asking to leave the 'dustbowl' behind and join her in a new business. Ezra grinned sorrowfully.   
_"Sadly I find myself 1999 dollars short this week."_   
_"Join the crowd."_   
He grinned.   
_"However did I allow myself to fall into a career of law enforcement?"_   
"Because I fell for someone. Because I loved a man I wouldn't have dared to love otherwise. Because he made me whole."   
The cards faltered again and one slipped almost out of his fingers. Ezra screwed his eyes shut.   
_"Mr. Larabee. Might I assume you've come to take me with you?"_   
_"Oh, I couldn't do that."_   
_"May I ask why?"_   
_"You broke the law. You've been a bad boy."_   
The hands stilled as the face of his first lover came back to haunt him. Ezra swallowed convulsively and he tried to push the memories away, but they persisted.   
I broke the law. You broke my defenses. I came to love you. You gave me more than just a second chance. I ran out on you.   
_A sudden silence in the room, a squeaking of hinges, the sound of the doors, a clinging of spurs. The short hesitation of the patrons. This could only mean one thing, and Ezra's heart missed a beat as he looked up. Chris Larabee had just entered the saloon._   
_The black clad figure of the gunslinger standing in the door, carefully, almost casually, scanning the room, before he strode towards the bar, with a short nod ordering a whiskey. He turned around, the gaze of the hazel eyes under the black Stetson resting on Ezra for just a brief second, before he nodded. They would meet later, in his room. The gambler smiled and returned his attention back to his cards._   
The sound of booted feet on the boardwalk outside reached his ears and he looked up as the batwing doors were pushed open. Silhouetted against the sun stood a slender, tall figure, hands on the doors to hold them open.   
_"You ran out on me once before. You wouldn't be thinking about doing that again, would you?"_   
He clenched the fingers around the cards, his eyes assaulted by past memories and ghosts. For a brief moment the figure in the door was overlaid by a similar one. A black duster falling around him, a black hat on the longish, dark blond hair. Eyes that checked the saloon for trouble.   
"Ezra?" _"Ezra?"_   
"Ah, Mr. Larabee. Can I interest you in a game of chance?"   
Chris looked at him, deeply shocked about the words he had just heard. "Ezra, don't do this to me, please."   
"Whatever are you talking about, Chris? It's a nice evening, maybe you would like to join me in a game of cards, or take a libation with me? No?"   
"Ezra, I am not him, damnit! Snap out of it!"   
Ezra squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling sharply. He blinked as the echo of the past merged with the present, forming into the well-known form of Chris Larabee. Agent Chris Larabee, CSI. Not his ancestor.   
The vampire collected himself, steeling his body and mind against the sensations that threatened to overwhelm him. His hands started shuffling the cards automatically, a welcome distraction. His finger tips glided over the cardboard surfaces and his mind went through the age-old exercises his mother had taught him. He knew where every card was in the stack.   
Only he was lost.   
Not in the stack.   
A hand closed over his, stopping the motions. Ezra looked up into the hazel eyes of his lover. More amber, really. With a touch of hazel. Not like Chris's. Familiar, but not the same.   
"Ezra?"   
The hands tightened over the set.   
_"Please take your hands off my cards."_   
_Chris gave him that weird little smile he sometimes had. "No."_   
_"Excuse me?"_   
_The smile stayed. "I said no."_   
"If you start apologizing, Ah might just forget myself and do somethin' Ah will very possibly regret later on," Ezra said levelly, his normally so smooth southern accent thickening with emotions that boiled just beneath the surface.   
Chris smiled. "Not here to apologize." He let go of the cards.   
"And Ah'm fine, too," Ezra muttered, anticipating the question.   
"Uh-huh, right. Ezra, I've known you for only a few months, but it's long enough to know you are not fine. This brings back memories."   
Standish looked around the saloon and finally back to Chris. "Isn't it amazin' how much the past has a grab on you?" he asked softly. "Especially one place? One little place in a memory that contains hundreds of places, thousands of events, big and small, of a life that has lasted for 154 years by now?"   
The emotions bubbled up and he was afraid that he might lose the little control he had on them.   
Chris shook his head. "Considering that this 'place' played a pivotal role in your life, no."   
Pivotal. Yes, it had been that. Among other things. A chance encounter, a crazy decision in a moment of weakness…   
_"Well I couldn't stay away -- not once I saw I'd be riding with a genuine celebrity."_   
…a hollow excuse to come along.   
I've been dealt many hands in my life. It was a winning one. I didn't see the hidden ace up someone else's sleeve. I didn't realize there were more than just seven players.   
Ezra looked at Chris again, took in the warm expression of love, worry and care, and he found himself smile. A new winning hand. A second chance.   
Larabee rose wordlessly, his eyes speaking enough. His hand briefly rested on Ezra's shoulder, squeezing it, then the vampire was along again. Dust motes swirled in the afternoon air and silence settled.   
A different kind of silence.   
Not broken by the voices of a far gone memory.   
Ezra gazed at the cards, then pocketed them. He rose and pushed past the batwing doors, looking down the empty street. He had guarded this street, this town, the people who had lived and long since died here, with his life. He had given them everything in the short time he had been part of something special. And he had been given a lot in return. Keeping in the shadows, he walked along the empty houses, sometimes trailing his fingers along the rough surface, smiling as his mind filled the broken fronts with living memories.   
Finally he stopped, aware that he had reached the end of the boardwalk, the end of the shade, and he gazed into the clouded afternoon sky. He had fed earlier and if he didn't do it now, he might never be able to put the last demons to rest.   
Squaring his shoulders, Ezra walked across the packed dirt toward the cemetery. He didn't allow himself to think. His feet knew the way and he let them guide the rest of him. Finally he stopped in front of the tombstone he hadn't seen in so many decades.   
"Hello, Chris," he whispered.   
He sank onto the dusty earth, legs crossed under him, and gazed at the weathered inscription.   
I'm so sorry, he thought, unable to speak out loud what he had been trying to say for so many years.   
I ran out on you. I promised never to do it again. I promised to be with you. In my mind, that time should have been to the end of our days, together. Two old men. Dirty old men. He chuckled. Maybe having a kind of ranch together, maybe just living outside a town. Maybe even outside this town. I never made many plans in my life, but with you, I had wanted to make a lot.   
I ran.   
I died. And you saw it, right? It was your bullet that hit Franklin. Of course it was yours.   
I loved you. You accepted me. I lived for you.   
Ezra lowered his eyes.   
I'm still here. And in a way, so are you. Your great-great-grandchild. He's a Larabee, all right. He looks a lot like you. He has some of your traits, but not your temper, your darkness, the pain of a wounded soul.   
I know he isn't you, Chris. I'm not making this mistake and I know that he knows. I told him everything and he accepted. I love him. I never dared to hope to love again. I lived every day, every week, every month… but I just wanted to die and be with you. I'm a coward. I never made that step.   
Now I know. Now I'm glad.   
Maybe Josiah was right. Destiny. In so many ways.   
He looked at the marker again, swallowing hard.   
I still love you, but I love him as well. I want to spend my life with him, Chris. I'm not here to ask your blessing. I'm the only one who can give it to myself. I know I have to make that decision and I made it the second time I met him. I wanted him so badly, I reacted so strongly to him, the Larabee blood. I couldn't live without him.   
I won't come here again. I should have in the past. Should have honored your memory, but I couldn't. I lived a life of darkness, I tried to understand and accept what I am. It took me too long and then….   
He sighed softly and shook his head.   
The town vanished. Just like we had vanished. We are in memories, in tales, maybe even in legends. We are seven individuals in a town that didn't survive. But I know we did. You did. In your descendents.   
I love you.   
Ezra inhaled shakily and rose to his feet. He ran a hand over the tombstone, feeling a million emotions rise with the touch, and wash out of his system. For the first time in decades, he felt he could breathe easier. He felt a weight lift from his soul.   
"Good bye," he whispered.   
He noticed with surprise how low the sun already was. He must have sat here for… what? An hour? His body complained a notch, but he could remedy the damage he had done it with a 'shake'.   
Ezra turned and stopped as he discovered the man leaning against the scraggly tree outside the cemetery. Two horses were bound to an old hitching post outside the last building before the graveyard. Ezra wordlessly looked at the silent, dark figure, took in the jeans, the brown leather jacket, the riding gloves sticking out of one pocket. His eyes wandered over the highlighted, blond hair, on top of which a pair of sun-glasses rested.   
No ghost of his past overlapped the image of the present. This was Chris Larabee. His Chris. Not his great-great-grandfather.   
Ezra approached him, equally silent, the only noise the boots crunching the gravel and sand underneath the soles. He stopped in front of him. There was a moment of motionlessness, Chris giving Ezra the choice. And Standish made it. He slipped his hands and arms around his lover's waist under the open jacket. Chris pulled him close and placed a soft kiss onto his head.   
The vampire held on to him, allowed himself to be held, not even trying to maintain control. He wished he could bury himself in the other man's embrace. Chris's hands gently, slowly rubbed over his back.   
"Ready?" he whispered into his ear, his breath disturbing wisps of chestnut hair.   
"Yes." Ezra swallowed once. "I did what I came here to do."   
Chris's eyes were drawn to the two graves. He nodded.   
"I love you," Ezra murmured.   
Larabee's eyes lit up as they always did. "I never doubted that, Ezra. I never did."   
They walked over to the horses and Ezra mounted in one fluid motion. Chris followed and they guided their horses out of the ghost town.   
Chris sneezed. Ezra looked at him with a frown.   
"Caught another cold?"   
"Dunno. Feels like it. Damn."   
"You should really see a doctor, Chris. I don't like this."   
"It's just a cold, Ezra, not the end of the world as we know it."   
The vampire sighed.   
He didn't look back. He wouldn't come back; he knew it. He didn't have to take a last look. Four Corners, the town he knew, existed in his mind alone. It wasn't a ghost town. In his mind, he saw it as the dusty, quaint little frontier settlement, with all the people he knew, teeming with life. He smiled fondly and let the horse pick its way up the trail.   
Good bye, he thought. And thank you for everything.   



End file.
